What's Your Compulsion

Compulsion. The main derivative of ADHD. While most will tell you that it is distraction.

It is an interesting facet of the disorder, in that, it 'feels' like motivation, yet is so short-lived. (short-lived is subjective...reasoning coming up) Thus it's correlation to distraction.

Examples: For a long period of my life I drew, drew, drew. Always doodling, drawing and sketching something. I enjoyed it. I had friends asking me to draw something for them.
Then, I discovered it to be more of a hobby, then it to be something that I could make a career of. I found that out when faced with fierce competition in College, where it was blatant that I'd be 'forced' to do this rather than it being a past time.
I soon lost interest and have not drawn much since.
It was something that I did, once upon a time. (pre, teens, and post)

Then I was off on a poetry tangent. For years I found much to inspire writings. I have written well over 100 'poems' (I call them "words"). I had people ask me to write one for or about them. Can't force creativity, my words flowed from moments not requests. Before you knew it... the well dried up and I stopped writing. (20 somethings)
This wasn't a simple matter of writers block.
If only it were that simple.
It was simply something that I did, once upon a time.
It was all about compulsions.

You see. We (ADHD'ers) tend to have these "pockets of doing", where we are 'motivated' (sic) to do something, then wham! out of the blue...the moment is gone.
These pockets are compartmentalized into short bursts, medium, and long. My examples, above, being that of long.
Most of us (we with ADHD and those observing us) seem to remember the "short attention span' events. Of those we have many!
Another (medium) would be this Blog, it is everything to remember to add to it. I have had 1,000 thoughts come and go before I can remember to sit down and capture them and share with you. About another 100 things tripped me up on my way to the PC. (short bursts)
It is everything I am to sit down to write this, sort through the gazillion lines of thought on a subject, that I had just moments ago. And I mean everything!
Bah! who needs exercise? I am exhausted just being me, in my own head. ;-)

Let's touch on compulsion, in relation to life.
As adults.
Specifically 'long', and those "pockets of doing".
More often than not, you will find us struggling to keep a job or to keep a relationship going. We're (most of us) really not that good at it. For those of us who can..it is a major undertaking. It isn't because we don't want to, but that we have a harder time of it. A MUCH harder time.
One might categorize it, as getting bored with something, and in some respects that is a simplified description.
More to the point, is that we have this forward drive to go on to the next best thing. What's next? What's next? Like a panting puppy anxious for that treat you wave in front of him before you actually issue it. Anticipation, anxious, curious....new! More, more, more..
We are (as I've said in earlier posts) everywhere and nowhere.

I mentioned being 'forced' to do something.
On freedom of expression and being creative, most of us (ADHD'ers and not) would rather it come flowing freely, unfettered. But that extra element from being an ADHD'er brings out that ugly spot...defiance. Oh! We have it. (not to be confused with Oppositional Defiant Disorder)
We have become rather defensive in protecting our ego's after succumbing to the fact that we are different, and/or have been called "lazy, stupid, spacey..." (all those lovelies and more) and/or have been 'labeled'.

So..we have this interesting life of "I am on" "I am off", and we will frustrate the living hell out of everyone around us..including ourselves.
Don't think that we don't see ourselves doing it.
Do you think that we want to flounder about in life?
It might appear that way.
Some of us get it, some of us don't...yet, and still some of us will never get it.
Therefor: compulsion.
Now...what to do?

The million dollar question.