I am incredibly sad to see a parents' failure to help their little one with ADD/ADHD. I am convinced it generally has to do with ones own denial.
I remember when it was brought to my attention that one of my little ones had a learning delay. While the great folks at the center that he was at, didn't profess to be 'professionals' in the field, they surprisingly hit the nail on the head. They suggested a wonderful local outfit to have him tested. After all, these people deal with kids day in and day out, and had done so for many years.
I took the denial road.
Months later, when I got over my self (and all that entails when being told you're child might have a problem to address) and realized that this was no way to help my little guy.
We all want our kids to be a success in every way, and we are here to help them achieve all they can, right? So why stand in the way?
If your child had an illness, would you not seek help to diagnose and treat it? If your child fell and broke his/her arm would you just 'let nature takes its course' and allow it to heal on its own? Ridiculous, you say?
It is ridiculous to be as selfish as to impede any ounce of progress our kids make on their path to independence and adulthood.
That'd be like telling your son/daughter NOT to grow up. "Can you hang on while I sit here and sulk and feel sorry for myself?"
Picture that.
I got my son to a testing center, all to find out that it was a minor issue and with a little nudge here and there, he'd do quiet well. And he has. :-)
Whew.
This prepared me for having the next two out of the gate, present us with ADHD.
I stood tall for the second one and was at-the-ready for steering him down the road properly.
Whew.
Numero three, however, was/is my biggest challenge yet. His ADHD being more of a stumbling block with his educational needs. A bit more overwhelmed, yet with some minor experience under my belt..I am trotting along side of him to do the best, by him, that I can. After all...we are everything to them until they can take the wheel themselves.
..waiting on another "whew".
Back to the folks that I have observed dwindling, still, in that horrible world of denial. You know the one..avoiding seeking a proper analysis, counseling, and meds (if need be). The old "oh, I can't have him/her all doped up..", "he'll/she'll grow out of it', "there's nothing wrong with ____". All in the name of the "I am looking out for him/her" justification.
Really?? You don't say.
Meanwhile these kids are scorned by other kids as 'hyper' and 'annoying'. Laughed at for being 'weird'. Thought of as 'stupid' by kids and mis-guided adults, because doing things a wee different, awkward or slower makes them appear as such.
So let's just tell them that it's ok to be different, or weird, that they aren't stupid or hyper. ...and leave it at that. They'll grow out of it, right?
While there is nothing wrong with such 'advise' and counsel, there is a whole lot wrong with leaving it at that. Would you put a band-aid on a broken leg?
That is pretty much what you'd be doing.
Help your child.
Help your child help him/herself.
Pity is not love. It's just pity.
Love is what it takes to extend beyond yourself, reach out to another.
Reach out and lift them up.
Lift them up, watch them spread their wings and fly.
Watch them fly away.
Watch them soar...
This is what you're here to see them do.
Now do it.
With love.
